Let's end Paruresis (Shy Bladder) controlling your life
I spent 15 years trapped in hiding, routine, safety. Until I stopped hiding and became free.
Paruresis (Shy Bladder) is a social anxiety disorder that makes it difficult or impossible to urinate in public restrooms or anywhere with people nearby. People with severe Paruresis (shy bladder) avoid using toilets that aren’t in their homes. If avoidance is used as the main way to manage it, generally their freedom in life is severely limited.
Whether or not you can overcome Paruresis, in the end, is up to you. I can support you in the process.
The work is yours.
Basically, you don't need me. I'm not holding back any information. I am not offering a magic cure.
You can read my story to read exactly how I overcame Paruresis.
I can guarantee you, that through accepting yourself as someone with Paruresis and all that entails -
you will overcome it.
If you're open to do it with some added support:
I can listen to you. I can help you see the why and the how. I can guide you in which steps to take.
You will need to share. You will need to be open to change. You will need to actually take the steps.
If that's something you're committed to, I would be very happy to help you.
What keeps you
a conditioned state of not feeling safe
For whatever reason, we're wired in a way that makes us unable to pee when we don't feel safe.
At first glance, it's easy to think that what makes us feel unsafe is external. Not having a door with a lock. Too many people around. Someone knocking on the door. No dividers between urinals. People waiting for us.
But often, what makes us feel unsafe, is us ourselves. Mainly, this is because we care too much about what others think. Maybe a better way to say that is, we fear too much what others think.
We try to make sure others think about us the way we want them to. We hide what we don't like and what we don't want others to know.
We make it our secret.
We find ways to pretend there's nothing wrong.
We start to avoid.
This way, we start subconsciously telling ourselves there's something wrong with us. Something to be ashamed of. Something to hide.
And whether it's Paruresis or other forms of mental anxiety that limit us:
This is the way it grows.
We create a state of not feeling safe. Through our actions and in-actions, we tell ourselves we're not 'normal' or 'good enough'.
Ready to trade "safe" for free? Let's talk
If you haven't yet, read my story
What frees you
creating safety through acceptance
Instead of fighting ourselves, fighting the things we don't want to have, we can also accept them.
At first glance this seems counter productive. How would accepting something we don't want to have, help us?
With something like Paruresis, which is most often rooted in obsessively caring about what others think of us, the way of acceptance brings freedom. Why?
Be honest with yourself; You're probably hiding the Paruresis from most people, even the ones close to you. You find excuses. You cover up. You're flexible with the truth when it comes to this subject. You're ashamed and you try to make sure no one finds out.
Even if shame and secrecy aren't your ways, you probably still recognize that the inability to pee is directly connected to your beliefs about what others might think of you.
This is where acceptance comes in. "I am someone that needs an above average amount of
privacy/time = safety, to pee.
So what?
It's not our fault. There is no reason to be ashamed. There's no reason to hide. There's no reason to time your bathroom visit. No need to flush when you didn't go. There is no reason not to be able to talk about it with others. Especially the people that are around you in daily life.
Just own it. Be someone with Paruresis.
I know that's hard. But what do you have to lose?
Because the seemingly 'simple' act of opening up about your Paruresis, will free you from it.
If you're open to it, I would love to support you and help you in any way that I can.
If you're ready to overcome yourself and experience the reward that is freedom: